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Jump to: Harry the Polis Books
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Medicine Balls
Consultations with the World’s
Greatest TV Doctor
Dr Phil Hammond
Medicine Balls is the hilarious new book by Britains’s favourite and funniest GP, Dr Phil
Hammond. The world may be full of TV doctors, but only Dr Phil has appeared on Have I
Got News For You seven times, Countdown nineteen times and is medical correspondent for
Private Eye.
Price: £9.99
October 2007  |
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The Almost Completely Ultimate Weegie Jokebook
Ian Black
Ian Black, bestselling author of Weegies v Edinbuggers, returns to the fray with a new
collection of crackers for Christmas.
Price: £5.99
October 2007 |
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Granny’s Book of Good Old-Fashioned
Common Sense
Linda Gray
As we try to keep up with technology and the pace of life, many of the domestic skills we
used to have have been lost. Granny’s Book of Good Old-Fashioned Common Sense brings
traditional skills back to the present and presents them in an easy step-by-step guide so
that we can all learn a little more about Granny’s heritage.
Price: £14.99
October 2007 |
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Baminals
All Creatures Big and Boggin
Scott Simpson
If you have ever wondered what a Dooboo looks like or why a Clype always loses his teeth or what size the manhood of a Chib is, then enter the weird, wonderful and sometimes downright worrying world of Baminals as written and illustrated by Scott Simpson.
Price: £9.99
October 2007
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Harry the Polis Books |
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Aye that will be Right
Harry Morris
The hilarious adventures of ex-polis Harry Morris, the self-appointed
Chief Constable of Funny Stories, continue with the publication of his fifth book, Aye,
That Will Be Right!
Price: £7.99
October 2007 |
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Even the Lies are True
Harry Morris
Harry Morris is out to show a side of our industrious police force that we don't often see - the lighter side. His time with the Glasgow and Strathclyde constabulary, or 'polis' for short, hasn't robbed Harry of his sense of humour, and every wily witness, cocky con, and sarcastic sergeant he ever rubbed up against is here in page after page of humorous stories.
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Even More Lies
Harry Morris
Even More Lies is the hilarious follow-up to Harry the the Polis’s first collection of anecdotes about life in the polis. With more stories and even more laughs from Harry’s twenty-nine years with the boys in blue, Even More Lies is another classic collection of tales tall and true.
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Nuthin’ Like the Truth
Harry Morris
In Nuthin’ Like the Truth, Harry Morris continues to mercilessly expose the lighter side of our hard-pressed police force. And in the third book in the Harry the Polis series, Harry has plenty more funny stories to tell from the thin blue line.
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Ye’re Never Gonnae Believe It
Harry Morris
Ye’re Never Gonnae Believe It! is the fourth in Harry the Polis’s hugely successful and hilarious collections of police stories. With twenty-nine years in the polis under his belt, there’s no shortage of incidents and hilarious anecdotes to tell.
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Life is Sweet
Ulysses Brave
Celebrate the charm of the lovely creatures of the world with this heart-warming gift book packed with photographs of
your animal favourites in their natural habitats, accompanied by words of wit and wisdom
that will bring a smile to your face and make you pause for reflection.
Price: £6.99
October 2007 |
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Peterhead Porridge
James Crosbie
James Crosbie was Britain’s most wanted man in 1974. When the authorities caught up with him they stuck him in Peterhead Prison. Behind the bars of one of the UK’s toughest jails, you’ll find the drugs, riots and fighting which make the headlines but, as the cons go about their daily routine, there’s also humour and stories aplenty as some of the hardest and most violent men in British crime do their time.
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Scotland vs England
Ian Black
2007 – the 300th birthday of the Act of Union. For 300 years, Scotland and England have stood together, united in glorious kinship. So how to celebrate this momentous anniversary? With jokes about our dear English cousins? Heaven forfend! With anti- Scottish vitriol from south of the border? Lawks a mussy!
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The Cat's Whispers
Cat Harvey
The frank and hilarious diary of Real Radio's breakfast babe, Cat Harvey, The Cat's Whispers chronicles her fascinating life on and off the air, from asking the First Minister how he feels about Speedos to wearing pink pyjamas, pink diamante sandals and a pink waist-length wig out to dinner.
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Mancs vs Scousers and Scousers vs Mancs
Ian Black
How much do Mancs hate Scousers? Well, there's not a lot you can compare it to, except of course how much Scousers hate Mancs. Which is rather a lot.
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The Hoormaister's Handbook
Scott Simpson
Increase your chances by lowering your standards the Hoormaister way. Scott Simpson endangers the health and morals of an entire nation by lifting the lid on the secret and often sordid world of the Hoormaister. A world in which the slapper is loved rather than loathed, celebrated instead of shunned and revered instead of reviled.
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Glasgow Urban Myths
Ian Black
Glasgow Urban Myths is full of all the hilarious stories that ever happened to the friend of a friend in Glasgow - hard truths and blatant lies, albeit in a sort of hit and myth style, but you will laugh and you will repeat them.
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Cats vs Dogs and Dogs vs Cats
Ian Black
Its an eternal argument which divides people all over the world. People fight about it. Couples divorce over it. But, when the chips are down, youre either cool for cats or hot for dogs.
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Positive Thinking for Calvinists - The School of Soft Knox
Ian Black
If you've ever wondered if wool grows just as fast on lazy sheep, why hard work sometimes pays off in the future but indolence works this very minute and what exactly is the worst sort of Calvinist, then the answers are all here. And you might be surprised. You might even, God help us all, crack a smile or two dozen.
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Crabbit Old Buggers
John K. V. Eunson
Crabbit old buggers are not defined by gender, nationality, creed or class – to be a crabbit old bugger is a state of mind, a way of living, a reason to exist that transcends all. Crabbit Old Buggers, the book, is a guide to these determinedly dour, intolerant creatures.
Price: £5.99
October 2006
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Footie Shorts - A Collection of Anecdotes from the Beautiful Game
Stuart Turnbull
This selection of humorous anecdotes features stories from some of the biggest names in UK football - including Gary Lineker, Jimmy Hill, John Motson, Denis Law, Craig Brown, Alex McLeish, John Rowbotham, David Elleray, Billy Connolly, Rod Stewart and Andy Cameron - and they all have outrageously funny tales to tell about their experiences of the beautiful game.
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The (Completely Unofficial) Tartan Army Songbook (NEW EDITION)
Ian Black
The songs and chants in this volume has been collected and culled both from the virgin footsoldiers and from the grizzled veterans of the Tartan Army’s long war against sobriety, and are guaranteed to have no moral worth of any kind. No liver has gone unsacrificed in the search, especially the author’s, and the work continues. There are plainsongs (and fancy ones), as well as sweet and sour ones and every nuance of flavour in between, but they all boil down to the (Completely Unofficial) slogan of the Tartan Army, which is: ‘We’ll support you evermore, F*** the score!’ |
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Women vs Men and Men vs Women
Ian Black and Lesley Riddoch
Its the ultimate battle the battle of the sexes and its time to find out the truth about men and women. Make up your own mind with the help of Ian Black and Lesley Riddoch and their hilarious book which looks for the truth behind the age-old questions: Is it a mans world? Are all men really that useless? Are women really in charge? Or will they never rule the world because they take too long to get ready in the morning?
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Pretty Wild: The Most Honest Diary About Men,
Women And Sex You'll Ever Read
Anvar Khan
In the most honest diary about men, women and sex youll ever read, Anvar Khan tackles the subjects that dare not
speak their names at polite West End dinner parties. Pretty Wild is the real deal girl talk with no-holds-barred,
charting
love and relationships, sexual encounters, desires and fetishes and its the most realistic examination ever of what
people have in their heads and then do in their beds.
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Alison's Diary - The Nappy Years
Alison Craig
This is a frank and hilarious account of pregnancy, childbirth and early motherhood. A must for anyone who has had a baby, wants a baby or has been a baby!
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Sheep for Beginners
John K. V. Eunson
For every one person in Scotland there is one sheep. But how many of us can say that we really know our fine fleecy friends? In this uncomprehensive and ill-informed guide to all things woolly, you will discover many facts and figures that will amaze and surprise ewe – there are things in here that even the most ardent supporters of a certain north-east of Scotland football team don’t know!
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Grrreat Scottish Dogs
Alison Fitt, with Illustrations by Bob Dewar
These endearing Scottish doggies, each humorously illustrated and accompanied by appropriate doggerel, are there for you to chew over at your leisure and theyre bound to provide you with a kennel-ful of fun!
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Purrfect Scottish Cats
Alison Mary Fitt, Illustrated by Bob Dewar
When Whiskers Wallace, Rabbie Burmese, Denis Claw, Fluffy Macdonald and Merwin’ McGregor meet up with another fifteen Scottish feline icons, they form the most curious line ever to cross your path..
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Dee the Business - A Hilarious Guide to Working in Doric
Peter K Fraser
Dee the Business is an indispensable book for anyone who has ever read a computer manual, a mobile phone users’ guide or anything written in management speak and wants either to be enlightened or made even more confused.
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Hullawrerr China! The Best of Francie and Josie
Rikki Fulton and Stan Mars
Hullawrerr China! is a collection of Francie & Josie's funniest moments from their many years in showbusiness - including the original version of the legendary Arbroath sketch.
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The Rev. I. M. Jolly & Friends
Rikki Fulton
The Rev I M Jolly & Friends is a tribute to the genius of Rikki Fulton. Year after year he brought
us characters that were hilarious and true to life, and perhaps his most famous incarnation of all
was the Reverend I M Jolly, star of Scotch and Wry’s ‘Last Call’.
Price: £7.99
November 2004 |
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Rikki Fulton's The Reverend I. M. Jolly
Tony Roper
The Rev I. M. Jolly is one of the funniest and most enduring television characters ever created, brought to life by Scotlands best-loved comedian Rikki Fulton. Follow Jolly’s adventures as he nearly wins the lottery, thinks Ephesia has a fancy man, and contemplates a life of unemployment, indolence and even more misery if that’s actually possible.
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Rikki Fulton's The Reverend I. M. Jolly, Book 2: One Deity at a Time Sweet Jesus
Tony Roper
Just when you thought it was safe to go back to church again, he’s back. As HM’s Church of Scotland minister, Jolly is in residence at Balmoral. You can tell because the flags at half-mast. But when Jolly’s fair midden, Ephesia, wrecks the Braemar Highland Games, the Church sends him off on a secret mission...
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Astonishing Scotland
Jim Hewitson
Astonishing Scotland is a cheeky thesaurus of Scottishness, an A-Z of Caledonian myth and mischief, a glimpse at the DNA of nationality. And on this individualistic journey, you’ll find a multitude of offbeat anecdotes from the history of our great, if somewhat confused, nation.
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Jim Hewitson’s Scottish Miscellany
Jim Hewitson
Jim Hewitson’s Scotland is a gey strange place. And this broth of off-cuts from the past, contemporary attitudes, outlandish lists, absurd tables, historical and hysterical trivia and off-the-wall observations is certainly one of the most curious Scottish books of the new millennium. In it, facts and figures collide with couthy anecdotes and unlikely yarns, all of which are shot through with that mystical ingredient which Jim has been trying to drag to the surface for thirty years: Scottishness.
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Still Game
Ford Kiernan and Greg Hemphill
The characters of Jack, Victor,
Winston, Isa and their pals have become firm
favourites with TV viewers and now they can
read the scripts and relive some classic episodes
that led to them being established as Scotlands
best-known and funniest pensioners.
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Nedworld - A Complete Guide to Ned Life and Living
Kylie Pilrig & Keanu McGlinchy
A humorous and stylish look at the world of the ned and the rise of ned culture in Scotland
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The (Completely Unofficial) Tartan Army Songbook: Ian Black |
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Elaine's World
Elaine C. Smith
A highly entertaining account of the adventures of Motherwell’s favourite actress. Witty and often hilarious, Elaine's World is full of memories and anecdotes of her family, her eventful early life and her rise to stardom: from the purple swirly carpet of her youth to her days as a student, drama teacher and aspiring club singer, before she got her big break in television and went on to enjoy enormous success starring in the popular BBC comedy Rab C. Nesbitt.
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