Cats vs Dogs and Dogs vs Cats

Ian Black


CATEGORY HUMOUR
PUB DATE SEPT 2004
ISBN 1 84502 022 7
EXTENT 160 pp.
PRICE £ 5.99
FORMAT 198 x 129 mm, PBK



Its an eternal argument which divides people all over the world. People fight about it. Couples divorce over it. But, when the chips are down, youre either cool for cats or hot for dogs. Some people even pretend to like both but, if you could only save your dog or your cat from a grisly fate, which one would you choose? Are cats cooler than dogs or are dogs better that cats? Here, Ian Black sorts out this age-old question in his usual comic style.

FOR THE CATS. Cats are cool. There even used to be a TV programme called Cool for Cats, run by some human pretending to be cool. He wasnt because only cats are cool.

FOR THE DOGS. Dogs arent cool. Dogs are warm. Dogs are dogged. When a dog loves you, he loves you through to the marrow of your bones and for ever. If they dont have dogs in heaven, then I want to go where they do. The one absolutely unselfish friend that man can have in this selfish world, the one that never deserts him, the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous, is his dog. A mans dog stands by him in prosperity and poverty, in health and sickness. He will lick the hand that has no food to offer. He will guard the sleep of his pauper master as if he were a prince.

Consider:

Cats are intelligent but only show it when they want to.
Dogs are stupid and dont care if they show it or not.
Cats give food to whoever they are loyal to.
Dogs are loyal to whoever gives them food. Even people who hit them. Doh!

DOGS OR CATS ITS TIME TO CHOOSE!

Glaswegian Ian Black is an author, playwright, journalist and broadcaster. He has written several best-selling books, including Who Wants to be a Glaswegian?, The (Completely Unofficial) Tartan Army Songbook, Two Andy Gorams: The Funniest Scottish Football Songs Ever! and the runaway hit of last Christmas, the hilarious Weegies vs Edinbuggers.