Dee the Business - A Hilarious Guide to Working in Doric

Peter K Fraser

CATEGORY HUMOUR
PUB DATE SEPTEMBER 2005
ISBN 1 84502 053 7
EXTENT 128 pp.
PRICE £5.99
FORMAT 178mm x 110mm, PBK


A humorous guide which sets out to prove that it’s easier to work in Doric than in English

Dee the Business is an indispensable book for anyone who has ever read a computer manual, a mobile phone users’ guide or anything written in management speak and wants either to be enlightened or made even more confused. Peter Fraser has selected some cracking examples of written English from the world of business that would leave even a professor of linguistics wondering about the sense. He has then reworded them in language that is easy to understand and next, somewhat perversely, he has translated them into Doric, the native tongue of those from Aberdeen and the north-east of Scotland. Here’s a taste:

End practice of awarding business on the basis of price tag – instead, minimise total cost. Move towards a single supplier for any one item, on a long-term relationship of loyalty and trust.
Saving a few pence now doesn’t always give the best result in the long run.
Savin’ a pucklie o’ bawbees iv noo disna aye gie the best result in the lang run.

Also included are examples of those annoying error messages that come up on your computer screen and seem to blame you for whatever is wrong:
There was an internal error.
Something’s wrong inside your computer.
The boxie’s intimmers are aa’ in a guddle.
It’s aa’ Doric tae me!

The son of an Aberdeen English teacher, Peter K. Fraser is a former managing consultant with KPMG and has a background in software development and business consultancy. He is a Serving Brother of the Order of St John, a former captain of Gordonian Rugby Club and past chairman of Aberdeen and St John Mountain Rescue Association. But even his friends don’t take what he says too seriously!